on moving, with kids.

We live in Melbourne now.
We live in Melbourne now.

I feel like I need to keep saying it just to make it seem real, but as yet - it does not. Living in a hotel apartment bigger than our house with views like this probably has something to do with it...

Ever since I can remember, Jake and I have wanted to move around. Live in new places. Explore. With the type of work that we both do, it is extremely possible, particularly in his job - ultimately that's what has brought us to Melbourne. When we had Sunny and even Scout we didn't really change our mind set - the girls would simply adapt and move with us. It didn't matter where we were, as long as we were all together. Especially while they were little, we would travel as far and wide as we desired - because kids are resilient, you know?

This remains true, on a basic level...but I guess what I didn't quite count on is our children forming deep friendships with others. They are only four and two and a half years old, but both of the girls love and adore their friends. In a small town, in our close knit community our girls have literally grown up shoulder to shoulder with the other little people of their age - my friends and I cared for each others children like that hypothetical village we all talk about.

Whether it is, or it isn't, this move has been made doubly difficult by the fact that I'm not just pulling myself out of a close circle of friends, but it means taking the girls away from their village as well.

It's just life, and changes are inevitable - but I can't help but feel really, really sad for my kids.

Yesterday I overheard Sunny talking on the phone to her best friend. Not a real phone call, but all the same, it went something like this:

"Oh hi Claire! Yep, I'm in Melbourne...we live here now...don't be sad, I'm a bit sad but we can still visit each other. Did you know we have a new house? We couldn't bring our kitchen or our bathroom in the truck, but it's OK..."

And then this:

"I'm just so sad without you my best friend... Maybe one day if you don't need your house anymore you can put your stuff in a truck and you can get a new house too."

Then this:

"Bye-bye. I love you forever"

Kids, I tell you. They hit you where it hurts.

I know that the young ladies will survive this - they really are the most easy going children around...but in the meantime I'd love any advice on making this move just a little less traumatic for them...

saying hello, saying goodbye.

These photos were taken today. In our echo-y empty house, with a very rambunctious Sunny and Scout (literally) bouncing off walls with nothing to do. Bless my neighbour Lisa who came over to supply me with garbage bags and entertain the girls for a little while.

First, let's get up to speed.
This week has been an absolute emotional roller coaster. I've seen the high of a new baby entering the world (no, not ours - more on that in a bit) and right now I'm experiencing the low of seeing every item in our home be methodically carried out the front door. After days of waiting for news we finally got the approval for our house in Melbourne - then less than 24 hours later, all of our belongings were in boxes. I knew things would move quickly, but this is lightening speed and my brain and tired bones can scarcely comprehend it all. Last night was the last night we slept in our fairytale cottage - tonight we call a serviced apartment home. On Sunday we drive to Melbourne and by the end of next week we will be finding places for all our things in our new house. Nesting, settling.

I'm not good at saying goodbye, especially in a rush. I don't like all the lasts.

Part of me wants to put on a brave face, or rather needs to put on a brave face because there isn't time to fall apart. Friends keep pressing little gifts and notes into my palms - to read for later. I can scarcely read them because I know all I'll want to do is cry. The crying me doesn't get the suitcases packed unfortunately. 

Leaving our home here is so, so bittersweet. Because we have truly made a home here - a life and a family. Three and a bit years ago when we embarked on this journey to the East Coast I would have told you that I hoped to make one friend. Just one good friend, so I wouldn't be lonely. 

My expectations were exceeded tenfold. God has been good.

I have nothing but love for the women who have become my besties, and their husbands and children who have all become to us like a big, rollicking extended family. Our little ones have grown up together, the closest-knit group of friends there ever was. Together we've sailed the seas of life - holding close in times of sadness and celebrating many wonderful things - Christmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays, new houses, new jobs and plenty of new babies...

Which brings me back, full circle.

You know that your friendship goes deep when a person asks you to be there at the birth of their child. A time of incredible vulnerability and uncertainty and intimacy. I never hesitated for a second in saying yes, and just a few days ago I was there, in that room capturing the most powerful of memories. I'm still in awe of my beautiful friend. Her amazing husband. Their perfect baby boy. I've never been so proud of someone or so grateful to just be in their life. 

Just seeing these images again makes my heart skip a beat. It's a little preview of what is to come...

Goodbyes aren't easy. In fact, they are too hard for me even to properly contemplate. So I'll soldier on, with my brave face and my matter of fact resolve and continue to remind myself that Melbourne isn't really that far away... but it still kind of is. 

the bucket list.

I'm one of those people that likes to make lists. A lot of lists. To-do lists, shopping lists, house lists, baby name lists (not that that's helping much)...and in my head I've been compiling a bucket list for, oh, just the last year or so. A list of things I'd like to do while we still live here, out in the country.

This is what it looks like:

Visit Jake's work - tick!

It sounds easy enough, but finding the time (and will) to do a 40 minute induction video and TEST (that you need to 100% to pass) just to be allowed in the gates of the plant put me off for...three years. For three years I had never seen my husbands office. When my mum was here I ticked this one off the list and even got to suit up in bright orange overalls and safety gear to have a tour. What a shame my camera is considered an ignition source (or so I learned from the induction video) for there are no pictures... Phew!

Go hiking with Jake for the day - not yet.

Yeah so this one hasn't happened yet because I'm pregnant and tired. And walking up hills makes me really tired. Did I mention I'm a bit too tired?

Go horse riding - not done.

Again, I thought this one up and then seemingly the next minute I was with child. It's still on the cards for later in the year because I am such a horse person...I mean, just look at them.

Go skiing - tick!

Thankfully I crossed this one off the list last white season - pre pregnancy. I LOVE skiing.

Go to a Jack Kelly sale -tick!

Ever since one of my brides told me about this once-a-month rummage sale in a nearby town, I've wanted to go. That was about a year and a half ago. The girls and I went last month and it was fun, but we only walked away with a $4 wool blanket - much to Jake's relief, I'm sure. Excuse the slightly dodgy iPhone photo...
The Shakespeare on the River Festival Fair Day -tick!

In nearby Stratford (conveniently located on the banks of the Avon river) they really dig Shakespeare and every year there is a big medieval festival held there. Every year I mean to go and this year - yesterday in fact - we finally went.

A sweet photo shoot - not done yet...

This is a relatively new addition to the list, because as our days are literally numbered, I get more and more sentimental. Before we leave I'm hoping to take some cute photos with Sunny, Scout and their little girlfriends -some lasting memories of the wonderful children our girls have had the pleasure of growing up with thus far. I'm going to cry, I just know it.

So as far as lists go, I think I've done ok. One things for sure - I am going to miss it out here.

Got a running bucket list? What's on it?

must have dishwasher.

Just a few images from around our current house - the memories!

House hunting. It's a bit of a pain in the behind...but admittedly it is also exciting. 

My mind boggles at the huge decision to be made - how it will determine what our days will  (literally) look like in the near future. The views from our windows, the rooms our children will play in, the way our furniture is arranged. I'm one of those people who walks into a house and immediately imagines where I would put things. I try to picture myself cooking in the kitchen or inviting friends around for a BBQ or bringing our baby boy home - to me, it's a hugely emotional process*.

And did I mention that at this time we are only renting? (While still hunting for the one)

Today we are looking at a long list of houses - ranging from older character homes to newer more luxurious dwellings. I've definitely got my favourites but they all will be getting a fair once over. After we've been so ridiculously spoiled out here in the country with cheap rent and a fairy tale cottage I've had to adjust my expectations a little in what we can afford. It is a guarantee that we will not have a house like this in the inner suburbs of Melbourne - it just doesn't happen. All I can do is put my wish list out there, and hope that the house we get ticks most of the boxes. Some of those boxes are reasonable requests, others a matter of taste, they look a little something like this:

3 bedrooms

A "pretty" house 

Easily maintained garden

Floorboards

GOOD heating

Good light

A bath tub

A dishwasher

Off street parking

A quiet street

Near a park

In one of our preferred suburbs so that Jake can cycle to work

...and on and on it goes.

Crunch time is here. Decisions need to be made so now I'm just wondering what I can compromise on, because it may come to that. A pretty house with no dishwasher? A modern kitchen but a great bathroom? A place that is nice on the inside, but ghetto on the outside? I just don't know.

Still off we go. And we look. And hopefully I'll have some good news on the flip side!

What are your house must-haves? What could you compromise on? And can a person really survive without a dishwasher?

*Who am I kidding - EVERYthing is an emotional process for me these days!

hey baby (31)

Week 31 has been a good one. It's been nothing short of eventful, that's for sure - but it's not really baby boy's fault. It has involved a few nights in Melbourne, a lot of poking and prodding at the doctor's appointments and a very large helping of sugar as I gave in to my sweet tooth daily. Yikes.

As our time here comes to an end I am painfully aware of all the lasts we'll be experiencing. Which is why I had to have Lis take some more photos, even though she has already covered weeks 16 and 27! She's a gem of a person and a gem of a photographer - I'm really going to miss our little countryside adventures and having such a kind, generous and all-round special neighbour. 

Yesterday evening I ignored the chill in the air and embraced my inner cowgirl/layer cake and dressed according. Lisa and I wrestled blackberry brambles and raced against a setting sun to get these images, but I'll always look back on them with the best memories...and the reminder that one should never traipse in long tickly grass in a short dress!

Awkward

// The audible groans that fly out of my mouth as I get in and out of the car / on and off chairs / in and out of bed. Not ladylike or attractive. I'm creaky at best.

// Creaky and forgetful! In one day I managed to forget my pin number, the kinder washing and where I had put the keys. You really do leave your brain at the door when diving in to this whole pregnancy thing!

// When we went to Melbourne I happily packed one of my favourite knit jumpers that I hadn't worn since last winter... It barely covered my belly button. 

// Actually not knowing if I'll make my next OB appointment because we may live elsewhere. Followed closely by the fact that I may have to commute back for it. Ugh. 

Awesome

// This week's fulfilled cravings include peanut butter choc chip cookies (made by me and everything), a soy mocha which brought a tear to my eye it was that' good and french onion dip on white toast. Don't knock it til you try it!

// Catching another glimpse of our sweet boy on the ultrasound screen - and Scout's serious little face as she assured me "baby boy not sick, baby boy ok" while patting my hand.

// All the lovely catch ups with friends we have had this week and the progress that seems to be happening with our move - like different sides of the same coin but these both make me happy.

 

Anticipating

// Having an actual baby at the end of all this. Reality has started to hit with new babies being born to friends almost daily... I'm just so thankful it will be our turn soon!

 

Wearing

Cardi, dress and boots - Country Road

Long sleeve top - Target

Brooch - Elk

...and plenty of goosebumps - WHY would I wear such a thing on such a chilly evening?!

And in case you've never caught a glimpse of the lovely Lisa...thanks again sweetpea! You can follow her photography work here.